Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse doesn’t need to take years . . . Learn how Sacred Dearmoring can accelerate your healing process towards freedom and an open heart.
Imagine finally feeling like yourself again after months or even years of manipulation, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. The effects of being abused by a narcissist can be absolutely devastating to your life in many ways, leaving you feel like a shattered piece of glass that can’t be put back together. If you’ve endured narcissistic abuse, you know the toll it takes. . . especially after the inevitable “discard.” It’s like carrying an invisible weight, even after you’ve left the relationship. Healing from narcissistic abuse requires more than just time. It requires intentional, targeted care for both your mind and body. This is where dearmoring, a profound body-focused healing modality, can transform your recovery journey. I have personally lived through the abusive discard and abandonment of a covert female narcissist, and fully recovered through a regiment of deep dearmoring practice, combined with sacred medicine journeys and other modalities that I work with. Not only did I recover fully in a couple short months, but after being clear from the drain of my partner’s unhealthy energy, my person power and emotional health catapulted to new levels, and my financial situation skyrocketed upwards. It is from this personal experience of deep pain and recovery that I recognize the impact you may be going through, and how to support you in your healing as well.
As a trauma survivor, you may have tried traditional therapy, journaling, meditation, and many other healing modalities, only to feel like something is still trapped inside. Or worse yet, you feel like part of you died. And there’s a reason for that. Trauma from narcissistic abuse isn’t just stored in your mind, it’s held within your body. Those frozen memories, lingering fears, and that tightness you feel in your chest or gut don’t magically disappear without release. That’s why dearmoring is so powerful. It allows you to connect with and liberate the unresolved pain that’s physically embedded in your body. When it comes to severe emotional trauma, like what you may have experienced from your narcissistic relationship, the concept of “time heals all wounds” couldn’t be further from the truth; time simply allows these unresolved emotions and trauma to fester in the body, protect your heart with armor, and solidify the fear of intimacy and relationships in your body. I’m honestly tired of hearing people say how long it takes to heal, when in reality what is actually happening is that it takes a long time for the body to solidify and bury the emotional pain – not heal. Healing is a courageous choice; taking time and doing nothing about it is the path of no real change. In my experience with my own healing and others, when it comes to trauma stored in the body, Sacred Dearmoring is the direct path to get free from the pain and suffering you are experiencing.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse, and Why Is Recovery So Challenging?
Narcissistic abuse is a uniquely devastating experience. It’s characterized by lying and manipulation, gaslighting, emotional withholding, and control tactics, leaving you feeling unseen, unheard, and doubting your own reality. When I lived through the “discard” of my relationship, I questioned my own sanity and ability to make quality decisions, while wondering how I attracted such a mentally unstable partner in the first place. If this happened to you, the first thing to realize is that you are not the sick one – the narcissist is the sick one, the one that is so fundamentally flawed at the core that they have created an entire new identity around how they want the world and YOU to see them in order to get “supply” (not love) – and with a true clinical narcissist their lies are so believable that you would never have seen it coming. As I look back, the signs were ALL THERE . . . the love-bombing, the “I’m leaving you” loyalty test, blaming all the previous partners for the bad relationship, no friendships with previous ex-partners, the ego-feeding instagram profile that was all about being perfect and seen instead of vulnerable, the devaluation period, the inevitable discard followed by no-contact and being blocked on social media . . . it was all 100% clear and straight out of the narcissist’s playbook, but I didn’t see it coming until the discard. Honestly, before that experience I never dated a narcissist, and didn’t even really know what one was. So if you’ve gone through this, know that you are not alone and I understand your pain. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, whether as a partner, parent, or friend – it creates cycles of trauma that run deep into the core of you. You learn to silence your needs and emotions to survive, and probably think that nobody could possibly understand what you went through. I DO.
As Dr. Gabor Maté explains in his groundbreaking work on trauma:
“Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you.”
This quote underscores the importance of addressing not just the emotional and mental damage, but the physical responses your body holds onto after narcissistic abuse. Traditional talk therapy alone simply will not get to the root of what pain you hold in your body . . . unless you want to take the next 5-10 years to cope and maybe heal. For true recovery, you need a holistic approach like Sacred Dearmoring and tantric sexual healing that works with the body’s innate wisdom to restore balance, safety, and trust in yourself and others through the process of releasing emotional pain and trauma instead of just talking about it. In fact, in cases of many victims of narcissistic abuse, talking about it with friends or therapists could have you going in a loop telling the same story over and over again trying to make sense of it all . . . when it will never make sense to you, it will only get you stuck in the story of it instead of truly healing. You will likely never get closure, and your ex-partner will never take responsibility for their part, they will only blame you (because that’s what narcissists do) . . . so let’s focus on your healing and break the pattern of attracting someone like this ever again. Sound good? Let’s talk about your healing through Sacred Dearmoring. . .
What Is Dearmoring, and How Does It Work?
Dearmoring is a transformative healing technique designed to release emotional blockages and trauma stored in your body. It’s based on the understanding that your body creates “armor” as a protective mechanism against past pain and harm. While this armor once kept you safe, it now prevents you from experiencing emotional freedom, connection, and joy. And the armor you’ve put on after being nearly destroyed by a narcissist . . . That’s not going to go away by talking about it. Furthermore, at some level you attracted the narcissist, and this is an opportunity to look deeper into the wounds that your narcissist abuser found and exploited.
During a dearmoring session, practitioners use a combination of touch, breathwork, and energy healing to unlock areas of tension where emotions are stored in the body. These areas may include the chest (where grief often resides), the hips (connected to shame or repression), the back or shoulders (connected to the weight of your grief) and the belly or solar plexus (the center of fear and anxiety). And because the abuse is tied to what is called the “identity of your sexual self,” the pelvic region and genitals often store the bulk of pain and suffering, leaving you sexually disempowered and avoiding emotional intimacy. Because this type of disempowerment and fear of emotional intimacy is often stored in the genitals, Sacred Dearmoring may include the sacred practices of yoni dearmoring, yoni mapping, or prostate dearmoring.
Unlike traditional therapy, where you may simply discuss your experiences, dearmoring allows you to physically and energetically move through and release that trauma, bypassing the conscious mind and diving directly into the subconscious memories stored in your muscles and tissues. This process is deeply powerful and emotionally cleansing. It doesn’t retraumatize you; instead, it allows you to connect with your body in a way that is safe, loving, and empowering.
How Sacred Dearmoring Speeds Up Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
Recovering from narcissistic abuse can feel like trying to piece together a shattered vase. If the vase is cracked a little, maybe you glue it together and it still holds water; but if the vase is smashed into a hundred pieces, it might feel like it is beyond repair. Of course it IS repairable, but the more damage there is the more depth is required in the healing process. Depth . . . not necessarily time. The damage is layered and complex, involving your sense of self, your nervous system, and even your sense of reality. Here’s how dearmoring accelerates the healing process:
1. Dearmoring Releases the Emotional Pain Stored in Your Body
When you’ve been gaslit or manipulated, your sense of self shattered, or you’ve been discarded as if you were worthless, your body internalizes that stress, leaving behind unprocessed emotions. You might feel a constant tightness in your throat, heart, chest, or stomach, which is a physical manifestation of those emotional wounds. Women often feel the pain in their womb and yoni and feel emotionally and sexually shut down. Men can hold this tension and pain more often in their back, gut and prostate. Dearmoring targets these blockages and allows them to be released in a supportive environment.
2. Dearmoring Restores Your Sense of Safety
After narcissistic abuse, your nervous system becomes hypervigilant, stuck in a permanent fight-or-flight mode. Dearmoring helps you have a total reset. Through breathwork and intentional touch, your body begins to let go and surrender . . . and remember what safety feels like, allowing your nervous system to calm down and heal.
3. Dearmoring Rebuilds Your Connection with Yourself
A key tactic of narcissistic abuse is disconnection . . . As the narcissist disconnects from you (often suddenly), you experience disconnection from your emotions, intuition, and self-worth, or even disconnection from your own sense of identity. Dearmoring helps you reclaim those lost pieces of yourself. When you reconnect with your body, you also rebuild trust with yourself, something that’s often shattered in the aftermath of an abusive relationship.
4. Dearmoring Speeds Up Trauma Integration
Unlike other modalities that take a more indirect approach, dearmoring gets straight to the root of where the trauma lives in your body. This can literally cut years off your healing journey. It is possible to heal in a few months instead of years . . . I did it, so I know I can help you through it also!
The Role of Consent and Communication in Sacred Dearmoring
One of the most empowering aspects of dearmoring is that it is entirely based around a foundational client-led process of choice and boundaries. Narcissistic abuse often robs you of boundaries and autonomy, which is why it’s crucial to work with a trauma-informed dearmoring practitioner who values and respects your boundaries every step of the way.
At Sacred Dearmoring, you’ll find a judgment-free and deeply accepting container of safety where you’re encouraged to express what feels right and what doesn’t. Consent isn’t just a checkbox on a form, it’s the foundation of my practice. The process always starts with an open dialogue to ensure that your needs, boundaries, and comfort levels are deeply understood and respected.
As trauma expert Peter A. Levine has said:
“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”
Sacred Dearmoring provides that empathetic witnessing, combined with tools for your body to release the weight it no longer needs to carry. During your initial consultation, additional tools and modalities can be discussed as we co-create the container for your accelerated recovery and healing.
Client Testimonials: Transforming Lives
One of my clients “Sarah” came to dearmoring after years of enduring emotional abuse and being discarded from a narcissistic partner. She was emotionally shut down, unable to orgasm, and unable to trust being intimate with a new partner. She shared: “I didn’t realize how much I was carrying in my body until my first session. I left feeling lighter, freer, and like I had reclaimed a piece of myself that I thought was gone forever. Through multiple additional dearmoring sessions, I was able to feel like I could begin to trust and open my heart again.”
Another client, John, had spent a lifetime walking on eggshells in a relationship with his narcissistic mother. After several dearmoring sessions including a deeply healing prostate massage, he said:
“For the first time, I feel like I can breathe deeply again – both physically and emotionally. This was a deep experience of letting go, and a major step towards emotional freedom. It was as powerful as 6 months of talk therapy in one night.”
One client came to me who quietly suffered from a narcissistic mother’s abuse from early childhood on. She knew that trauma lived in her body . . . . And in her search for healing she had experienced many other tantric and somatic healing sessions with top-quality healers with varying results. But after experiencing the breakthrough power of Sacred De-Armoring and a deep and cathartic emotional release, she expressed to me . . . “YOU CRACKED THE CODE!” in her emotional healing journey.
These stories are a testament to the power of this work in helping people heal from some of the deepest wounds.
What Can You Expect During a Dearmoring Session?
Before your session, we start with a client intake call to discuss your history and needs for care. When you arrive for a session at Sacred Dearmoring, you’ll first be welcomed into a space that feels sacred, warm, and completely safe. Your practitioner will take time to discuss your intentions, any areas of discomfort, and your specific boundaries.
The session itself might involve light or deep physical touch, focused on areas where trauma is held. You’ll also work with breath and guided movements, all designed to help your body unwind its patterns of tension and armor.
As the session progresses, you might feel emotions rising to the surface. This is completely natural and part of the healing process. Whether you feel tears, laughter, or even anger and rage, it’s all welcome in the space. This is your body’s way of releasing what it no longer needs to hold.
Is Dearmoring Right for You?
If you’ve been searching for a way to truly release the hold that narcissistic abuse has on your mind and body, dearmoring offers a direct and profound path to healing. It’s especially valuable for anyone who has tried other therapies but still feels stuck or disconnected. An emotional pain in the body can not be resolved in the mind, any more than a bolt can be unscrewed with a paint brush. If you are ready to “unscrew” and release the trauma stored in your body and let go, dearmoring might be for you.
This is more than just a healing technique; it’s a way to reclaim your power, your voice, and your joy, and return to your power and sovereignty.
Choosing to Heal
Healing from narcissistic abuse is a brave and beautiful journey . . and . . . Healing is a CHOICE – Time alone will likely not heal your wounds, but will likely only allow you to bury your pain and keep your heart closed to intimacy. The choice to heal requires you to turn inward, confront your pain, dive deep into your emotions, and choose yourself newly again. Healing takes courage, and Sacred Dearmoring is here to support you in that process.
As you walk this path, remember this: You deserve to feel free in your own skin. You deserve to feel safe in the world. You deserve relationships that uplift you and a life that reflects your true worth. And while recovery may not be easy, every step you take is a step toward reclaiming your light and stepping back into your power and sovereignty.
So, are you ready to let go of the past and step into your future? Sacred Dearmoring can guide you there . . . one layer at a time. Learn why so many people are turning to dearmoring as a powerful modality for narcissistic abuse recovery and lasting transformation . . . Schedule a complementary discovery call today.
What are the signs you are a victim of Narcissistic Abuse?
- Isolation: A narcissistic abuser may try to isolate you from your friends, family, and support networks. They will take up all your social time, and try to keep you separate from their few but close friends (their other “supply”)
- Criticism: The abuser may constantly criticize you, usually after love-bombing you and making you think you are the greatest person on earth. After the “discard” they will certainly criticize you and likely tell everyone you know every negative thing they know about you, and then twist the facts and embellish them to criticize you even further.
- Exploitation: The narcissist may exploit you in one or more ways . . . emotionally, financially, or socially, all to gain more power for them at the expense of you. Narcissists are addicted to power and looking good, and sadly will sacrifice having love for their image or power.
- Manipulation: The abuser often uses manipulation tactics, some are quite abrupt and obvious, while many of their other manipulation tactics are quite clever and more subtle.
- Blame-shifting: A narcissist often shifts any blame to you, and often accuses YOU of the behavior they are guilty of as a way of deflecting and projecting. A narcissist never takes responsibility, especially not for hurting you.
- Emotional rollercoaster: The abuser may make you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster . . . and they are the operator of this devastating ride. You are just the puppet, until you choose yourself and break free (or simply get discarded).
- Lack of empathy: The abuser may initially appear empathic, but you eventually discover they lack any real empathy for you or the harm they caused to you. Narcissists appear empathic, but in fact they are “cognitive empaths” that lack real heart-based empathy and simply mirror a true empath. This is why narcissists are extremely attracted to empaths – they NEED your supply of empathy.
- Boundary violations: The abuser may violate your boundaries. This show up in many ways . . . physically, emotionally, or sexually . . . and especially when it comes to telling your secrets which they will weaponize and use against you, a massive betrayal of boundaries and a major blow to your trusting heart.
- Being discarded: Narcissists typically wake up one day and just shut you out of their life like a light switch. The Discard is one of the top clear indicators that you have been dealing with a true clinical narcissist, and not just someone with narcissistic tendencies.
- Controlling the Narrative: A narcissist will always strategically control the narrative of their just like a government conspiracy. They will twist the facts, make up extremely creative lies based on partial truths, and create propaganda as if they learned it from a government propaganda training program. They will keep their friends separate from you, and attempt to turn your friends against you. They will proactively tell their story to everyone you know FIRST in order to make YOU look like the crazy one to all of your friends and family. Their ability to strategically accomplish this is often astounding, leaving you with no way to regain the trust of your friends and family as the narcissist convinces everyone around you of their story. They are excellent at identifying their allies and manipulating others’ loyalty and turning people against you. This is also one of the top clear patterns of a clinical narcissist.
A Deeper Dive Into Dearmoring and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Healing from narcissistic abuse is one of the most transformative journeys you can undertake, but it’s also one of the most layered. Many survivors find themselves struggling with unaddressed trauma, even after breaking free from the toxic dynamic of the relationship. Let’s expand further on how Sacred Dearmoring can aid your recovery, peeling back the complexities of trauma, restoring balance, and paving the way for authentic self-love.
Why Traditional Approaches Often Fall Short
Most trauma recovery modalities focus on cognitive emotional healing. Therapy, support groups, and mindfulness practices address how you feel and think, but they often bypass one critical piece: your body. When you’ve endured narcissistic abuse, your body becomes a repository of unresolved trauma.
Think of it this way: every time you felt your stomach clench during an argument, your shoulders tense up from stress, or your throat tighten as you struggled to voice your truth, that energy didn’t just disappear. It left behind deep emotional imprints. Over time, those imprints turn into chronic tension or what Wilmhelm Reich and Sacred Dearmoring practitioners call “armor.”
The problem with traditional approaches is that while they address the mind’s understanding of trauma, they don’t access the physical armor that continues to block emotional freedom. This is why many survivors feel “stuck” even after years of talk therapy. Maybe you have worked through the story of your trauma but haven’t yet released its grip on your body and the pain and numbness you feel every day.
Sacred Dearmoring: A Gateway to Liberation
When you choose to explore dearmoring, you’re stepping into a form of healing that recognizes your body as a powerful partner in your recovery. Instead of bypassing it and trying to process your pain and grief in your mind, dearmoring works directly within the body to uncover, acknowledge, and release the unresolved pain you are storing.
What makes dearmoring unique is its ability to address two things simultaneously:
- Unwinding Your Nervous System: Abuse from a narcissist keeps your nervous system in a chronic state of fight-or-flight. Even after leaving the relationship, you may feel constantly on edge or unable to relax. Dearmoring sessions help your nervous system reset, so you can experience a sense of safety again.
- Breaking Emotional Patterns: Over time, narcissistic abuse can create deep-seated beliefs about your worth and identity. By releasing the armor in your body, dearmoring opens the door for you to reprogram these beliefs from the inside out.
How Narcissistic Abuse Affects Your Physical Health
You might not realize it, but narcissistic abuse isn’t just emotionally draining – it takes a significant toll on your physical well-being. Chronic emotional stress can lead to symptoms such as:
- Fatigue that never seems to go away
- Digestive problems, often stemming from tension in the gut
- Tension headaches or migraines
- Chronic neck pain, shoulder pain, and back pain
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or nightmares
These physical symptoms aren’t random. They’re the body’s way of expressing the unresolved emotional trauma you’re holding onto. The beauty of dearmoring is that it addresses these symptoms at their root, treating the body as an integral part of the healing process rather than an afterthought.
What to Expect When Working with Sacred Dearmoring
You might feel a mix of curiosity and nervousness at the idea of booking a dearmoring session, especially if you’ve never experienced body-based healing before. That’s perfectly natural. Let’s demystify the process so you know exactly what to expect.
When you arrive at Sacred Dearmoring, the space itself immediately feels different—calm, sacred, and non-judgmental. Your practitioner begins by taking the time to understand your story of trauma, your boundaries, and your intentions for the session. This conversation is key because it ensures the session is tailored entirely to your needs.
During the session, the practitioner uses intentional touch combined with guided breathwork and movement. You’re encouraged to remain deeply present and actively involved, tuning into your sensations and emotions. As the session unfolds, you might find old memories or emotions surfacing. This isn’t a sign of anything going wrong; it is an intentional part of the release process.
Many clients describe a Sacred Dearmoring session as a mixture of deep relaxation and cathartic release, and often as powerful as a medicine journey in its level of depth of experience. While each session is unique, what most people walk away with is a profound sense of lightness, almost as if a burden has been lifted from their shoulders.
Embracing Your Worth and Rebuilding After Abuse
A crucial part of narcissistic abuse recovery is reclaiming your sense of worth. Abuse from a narcissist systematically chips away at your confidence, leaving you questioning your value and purpose. Dearmoring helps reverse this by allowing you to physically and energetically reconnect with your inner strength.
As Brené Brown, a leading researcher on shame and vulnerability, beautifully puts it:
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
This is the message that dearmoring reinforces within you . . . that no matter what you’ve endured, you are enough, and you deserve love, safety, and happiness!
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for Men
While narcissistic abuse is often associated with men as the narcissist and women as survivors, it’s important to acknowledge that men also endure this type of relationship trauma from female narcissists. I know, I’m one of them. Whether from a partner, family member, or boss, the effects are just as profound. The female narcissist is often much more difficult to detect than a male narcissist, and so many men don’t realize they are dealing with a covert female narcissist until it is too late and the deep emotional damage has already been done.
For men, narcissistic abuse can leave deep scars tied to their identity, masculinity, and sense of power. Dearmoring for men focuses on creating a safe space to release emotions they’ve been conditioned to suppress, such as vulnerability, sadness, or fear. By releasing this suppressed energy, men can begin to heal and redefine their relationships with themselves and others. For men, a prostate healing session and prostate dearmoring can be a monumental component of a powerful healing journey.
Why Consent and Safety Matter So Much
Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a safe container where you feel completely in control. One of the unique aspects of dearmoring is its emphasis on consent at every stage. Unlike your past experiences, where your boundaries were disregarded, dearmoring centers around what feels good and right for you.
Before your dearmoring session begins, your practitioner will discuss every detail with you. What areas of your body do you feel comfortable working on? What types of touch feel okay, and what doesn’t? How deep are you ready to go? This level of communication ensures you feel empowered rather than vulnerable throughout the experience . . . and, this communication continues throughout your dearmoring session with constant check-ins with your emotional state and openness. The emphasis is on creating deep levels of safety so that you actually feel safe to surrender into the process of letting go of what no longer serves you.
Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps The Score” explains it in this way . . . “In our studies we keep seeing how difficult it is for traumatized people to feel completely relaxed and physically safe in their bodies. . . . A major challenge in recovering from trauma remains being able to achieve a state of total relaxation and safe surrender.”
This is precisely why a foundational focus of Sacred Dearmoring is creating an environment of safety, taking great care to discuss boundaries and consent as part of our trauma-informed guidance and care. Read more about what exactly is trauma-informed care.
While touch is involved, dearmoring isn’t a typical massage. With the highly skilled and trained practitioners at Sacred Dearmoring, it is a deeply integrative process that works with the body, mind, and energy system to release trauma and restore flow. . . and your safety is the foundation of our care.
Final Thoughts on Sacred Dearmoring and Your Healing Journey
Dearmoring is more than just a therapeutic process; it’s a sacred act of reclaiming your body and spirit after narcissistic abuse. At Sacred Dearmoring, we’re here to walk alongside you, offering a safe space to shed the weight of your past and step into the light of your future.
As you consider your next steps, remember that healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being whole. So ask yourself: What would life feel like if you no longer carried this weight? What might you accomplish, feel, or become? You deserve to find out, and we’re here to help you every step of the way.
Discover how narcissistic abuse recovery through Sacred Dearmoring can transform your life.
You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s walk this path together. Schedule a complementary discovery call today.
Additional Resources
Explore the following books and authors for deeper insights into trauma and recovery:
- “The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
- “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” by Dr. Gabor Maté
- “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown