Discover how Sacred De-Armoring can unlock emotional freedom by releasing hidden trauma and breaking through the five patterns that hold you back from deep connection and intimacy. Learn how this powerful somatic practice works in harmony with Wilhelm Reich’s concept of emotional armor and Steven Kessler’s five personality patterns to transform your life.
When you look in the mirror, do you sometimes wonder why you react to certain situations in ways that feel automatic to you and out of your control?
These reactions are likely tied to what Steven Kessler calls your “personality pattern” – a survival strategy you developed early in life. In my years as a Sacred De-Armoring practitioner and intimacy coach, I’ve witnessed how these patterns create invisible barriers to authentic connection and emotional freedom, while perpetuating attraction to the same unhealthy relationships. The bad news? Most people don’t recognize their pattern or where it comes from. The good news? You can release these patterns through the transformative practice of Sacred De-Armoring, which works directly on the emotional armor Wilhelm Reich identified decades ago.
Understanding Kessler’s 5 Personality Patterns
Steven Kessler’s groundbreaking work, “The 5 Personality Patterns,” offers a clear map of how people respond to stress and trauma, and help identify what actions people automatically take to seek emotional safety. His bestselling book explains how early experiences shape our defensive mechanisms and how these defenses eventually become our default way of relating to the world.
The Foundation of the Patterns
According to Kessler, these patterns form early in our development as protective mechanisms. When you experienced trauma or emotional wounds as a child, your nervous system created specific strategies to keep you safe. Over time, these strategies hardened into what Kessler calls “personality patterns” – automatic ways of responding to perceived threats.
These patterns aren’t who you truly are – they’re survival strategies that once helped you cope but may now limit your ability to experience connection, joy, and intimacy.
The Five Core Patterns
Kessler identifies five primary patterns that humans develop in response to early childhood wounds:
1. Leaving Pattern
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Seeks safety through: Leaving situations (Avoidant)
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Age of wounding: Utero to 6 months
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Defensive action: Limits contact, leaves body, disconnects
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Energy flow: Away from others
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Default emotion: Fear
2. Merging Pattern
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Seeks safety through: Merging with others (Attached)
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Age of wounding: 6 months to 2.5 years
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Response to threat: Connects deeply with others for security
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Fears: Deprivation, being unable to take in enough nurturance and love
3. Aggressive Pattern
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Characterized by: Pushing forward, taking control
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Response to threat: Moves against challenges
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Often appears: Strong, determined, driven
4. Rigid Pattern
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Characterized by: Control, perfectionism, order
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Response to threat: Creates structure and rules
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Often appears: Disciplined, organized, achievement-oriented
5. Collapsing Pattern
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Characterized by: Giving up, surrendering
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Response to threat: Becomes small, invisible
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Often appears: Passive, accommodating, defeated
Your unique life experiences likely led you to adopt one or two of these patterns as your primary defense strategies. Understanding which patterns you default to is the first step toward freedom.
Keep reading to learn more . . . also invest the time to watch this fantastic interview with Steven Kessler on the SexReimagined Podcast . . . with my good friends Dr Willow Brown and Leah Piper. I highly recommend adding this to your watch list . . .
Video Feature: Steven Kessler on The Sex Reimagined Podcast:
Are Your Patterns Sabotaging Your Love Life?
Are Your Patterns Sabotaging Your Love Life?
Are you ready to break free from old relationship patterns and finally experience the deep connection you crave? In this powerful episode of the Sex Reimagined Podcast, Steven Kessler—author of “The Five Personality Patterns”—joins Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown to reveal how childhood safety strategies shape your adult relationships, often keeping you stuck in cycles of conflict and misunderstanding. Watch now to discover practical tools for identifying your own patterns, transforming communication, and unlocking lasting love and intimacy—this episode is a must-see for anyone seeking real change in their relationships.
Wilhelm Reich’s Concept of Armoring
Long before Kessler developed his personality model, psychiatrist Wilhelm Reich was pioneering work on how emotional trauma becomes stored in the physical body. . . in fact, his work is the basis for the creation of Sacred De-Armoring as a leading modality for healing emotional and sexual trauma.
The Mind-Body Connection
Reich discovered that our emotional experiences don’t just affect our thoughts – they literally shape our bodies. When we experience trauma, our muscles contract to protect us. If these contractions aren’t released, they become chronic, forming what Reich called “armoring”.
Reich found that healthy organisms naturally pulse with expansion and contraction. However, when we’re armored, this natural pulsation becomes interrupted and restricted, impeding energy flow throughout our bodies.
How Armoring Forms in Seven Segments
Reich identified seven segments or areas of the body where armoring commonly occurs:
- Ocular (eyes and forehead)
- Oral (mouth, jaw, throat)
- Cervical (neck)
- Thoracic (chest)
- Diaphragmatic (diaphragm)
- Abdominal (belly)
- Pelvic (pelvis and legs)
Each segment can hold specific emotional experiences and traumas. This armoring limits your capacity for full emotional expression and creates chronic tension patterns that drain your energy. In my experience, the majority of people hold on tot he most emotional armor in the abdominal and pelvic area, and particularly the yoni and prostate.
The Impact of Armoring on Your Life
When your body is armored, you experience:
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Reduced sensation and aliveness
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Chronic tension and stiffness
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Interrupted energy flow
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Diminished creative capacity
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Difficulty expressing your authentic self
These physical restrictions mirror your emotional constraints, creating a feedback loop that reinforces your personality patterns.
Sacred De-Armoring: A Path to Emotional Freedom
As a Sacred De-Armoring practitioner, I’ve witnessed profound transformations when people release their emotional armor. This powerful healing modality directly addresses both Reich’s concept of physical armoring and Kessler’s personality patterns.
What is Sacred De-Armoring?
Sacred De-Armoring is a trauma-informed bodywork practice designed to gently dissolve the protective layers we’ve built around our hearts and bodies. It combines deep bodywork, conscious breathing, and energy work to release blockages, tensions, and suppressed emotions stored in your tissues.
Your body creates armor after experiencing traumatic events, resulting in nervous system activation and imbalance. These blockages suppress the natural flow of energy in your body. Sacred De-Armoring helps open these pathways again.
How the Process Works
In a Sacred De-Armoring session, we work with clearing stagnancy and trauma at the root level. The process involves:
- Creating a safe container for emotional expression
- Using specific touch techniques to access areas of tension
- Supporting conscious breathing to enhance release
- Facilitating emotional expression as stored feelings surface
- Integrating the experience to create new neural pathways
As your practitioner, I would guide you through each step, ensuring you feel safe and supported throughout the process.
The Benefits You’ll Experience
When you undergo Sacred De-Armoring, you may experience:
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Release of long-held emotional pain
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Greater capacity for pleasure and joy
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Improved connection between mind and body
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Enhanced ability to set healthy boundaries
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More authentic emotional expression
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Deeper intimacy in relationships
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Increased energy and vitality
One client described their experience: “After my De-Armoring session, I felt lighter than I had in years. It was as if weights I didn’t even know I was carrying had been lifted off my shoulders.”
The Synergy Between Reich’s Theory, Kessler’s Patterns, and Sacred De-Armoring
When we bring together Reich’s concept of physical armoring, Kessler’s personality patterns, and the practice of Sacred De-Armoring, we create a comprehensive approach to healing that addresses both the psychological and physical aspects of trauma.
Common Threads and Connections
All three approaches recognize that:
- Early trauma creates protective responses
- These responses become unconscious patterns
- Patterns manifest in both body and mind
- Healing requires awareness of these patterns
- Release must occur at both physical and emotional levels
In my practice, I’ve found that understanding your personality pattern according to Kessler’s model provides crucial insight into how your armor formed and how it might present in your body.
How They Work Together for Complete Healing
When you understand your personality pattern (Kessler), you gain awareness of your psychological defense mechanisms. When you recognize how these defenses manifest as physical tension (Reich), you can begin to see the complete picture of your armor. Sacred De-Armoring then provides the practical methodology to release both the physical and emotional aspects of this armor.
For example, if you primarily use the Leaving Pattern, you likely experience difficulty staying present in your body. Sacred De-Armoring can help you:
- Recognize when you’re “leaving” your body
- Feel safe enough to stay present with uncomfortable sensations
- Release the physical tension that reinforces disconnection
- Build new neural pathways for embodied presence
A Table of Patterns and De-Armoring Approaches
| Personality Pattern | Primary Armor Location | De-Armoring Focus | Healing Goal |
|---|---|---|---|
| Leaving | Upper body, head, eyes, root chakra (security) | Grounding, slow touch, present awareness. | Embodied presence |
| Merging | Heart, arms, mouth, sacral and root chakra (power, sovereignty, safety) | Boundary work, self-connection | Healthy separation |
| Aggressive | Jaw, shoulders, chest, throat chakra (feeling heard) | Softening, vulnerability work | Balance of strength and openness |
| Rigid | Diaphragm, thoracic segment | Release of control, spontaneity | Emotional flow |
| Collapsing | Back, legs, lower body, sacral chakra (lack of power) | Energizing, empowerment work | Inner strength |
It is important to note that the above chart is a VERY ROUGH guide which may or may not resonate with your pattern and body location. Any emotion can be stored in any part of the body. In my experience with clients, I find that while the entire body can be a storage vessel for trauma, the deepest healing and freedom comes from working with the deepest core of our “sexual sense of self,” which is our yoni, lingam, and prostate. The abdominal area is also a “catch all” area for deep seated trauma. Additionally, the yoni and lingam are energetically connected (through energetic meridian lines) to every other part of our bodies.
How to Begin Your Sacred De-Armoring Journey
If you’re feeling called to explore Sacred De-Armoring and address your personality patterns, here are some steps to get started.
Preparing Yourself Mentally and Emotionally
Before your first De-Armoring session, it helps to:
- Reflect on your patterns and triggers
- Set clear intentions for your healing
- Commit to staying present with difficult emotions
- Be willing to let go of old stories about yourself
- Trust the wisdom of your body
Remember that healing isn’t always comfortable, but the discomfort is temporary while the benefits last a lifetime.
Finding the Right Practitioner
The relationship with your De-Armoring practitioner is crucial for creating safety. Look for someone who:
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Has extensive training in trauma-informed bodywork
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Understands both Reich’s and Kessler’s frameworks
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Makes you feel safe and respected
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Has clear ethical boundaries
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Listens deeply to your needs and concerns
As a practitioner, I always recommend having an initial conversation before committing to bodywork to ensure we’re a good fit for working together.
What to Expect in Your First Session
Your first Sacred De-Armoring session typically includes:
- A thorough intake conversation about your history and goals
- Education about the process and consent practices
- Establishing clear boundaries and communication signals
- Gentle bodywork beginning with less vulnerable areas
- Integration time to process the experience
Many clients report feeling a profound sense of relief even after their first session, though deep De-Armoring work happens over time as trust builds.
Embracing a New Way of Being
When you combine the insights from Kessler’s 5 Personality Patterns with the healing potential of Sacred De-Armoring, you open the door to profound transformation. By releasing your armor layer by layer, you free yourself from the constraints of old patterns and create space for your authentic self to shine through.
Remember that your personality patterns are not your true self. As Kessler explains, “These patterns have shaped us so deeply that now we think that’s who we are. But these patterns are not your true self. In fact, they cover up your true self and prevent it from shining out into the world”.
Through Sacred De-Armoring, you have the opportunity to:
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Discover how you got stuck and how to get free
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Heal your core wounds
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Learn the emotional skills you missed in childhood
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Communicate effectively with others
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Develop emotional maturity
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Become all you can be
As your guide in this process, I’ve witnessed countless clients transform their relationships, rediscover joy, and create lives aligned with their deepest values. The journey isn’t always easy, but it’s unquestionably worth it.
Are you ready to unlock your emotional freedom, release your armor, and step into a more authentic way of being? Your body holds the key to healing your past and creating a more vibrant future. All you need to do is listen.
Additional Resources on The 5 Patterns:
I wrote this article and guide to resources for the benefit of my clients, as I often refer to The 5 Personality Patterns in my work. I hope you find this useful!
First in the list is this simple 1 hour introduction: In this 1 hour podcast on Spotify, Steven Kessler himself goes over the 5 patterns in a succinct and simple way. This is a great place to get the “1 Hour Overview” to understand what these five patterns are all about:
For those of you who love to read – The book The 5 Personality Patterns is available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon:
For Spotify users, this full audiobook version is free for Spotify Premium users:
The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity
This next resource is a 3 hour podcast on Spotify, an in depth discussion of Steven Kessler’s 5 Patterns with Elwin Robinson and Krissy Hawkes. I found this podcast to be particularly interesting, engaging and resourceful. . . and quite honestly easier to listen to than the audiobook. . . in 3 hours you’ll understand these patterns and be able to identify which ones relate to you . . . and your partner.